5th Key of 7 Keys to Creating Great Relationships

Key 5: Allow others to be true to themselves

Release the need you may have for other people to behave in ways that suit you. If you are going to adopt my strong advice to be true to yourself, then allow others to do the same. That way, you can more quickly decide whether you are truly attracted to another person, or whether it’s their ‘act’ that has drawn you in.

You protect your precious time by using this strategy! You can get on and live passionately rather than being deluded.

A recent challenging movie on this topic is “The Invention of Lying”, starring Ricky Gervais (of ‘The Office’ fame) and Jennifer Garner. The movie premise is that no one knows how to lie. Ricky meets Jennifer, and it is amazing what brutal honesty on a first date looks like. It would save you so much time! Watch the movie and observe how you react to it.

Of course, it is often dangerous playing the honesty game. People might, and can, use your honesty against you. It has happened to me in the past on many occasions. Still, my time is more precious and valuable than to waste it: in almost the blink of an eye, we are dead, the planet will remain, and our lives are like a blink of the universe.

Charles B Kovess LL.B. (Hons), LL.M., MAICD, MAITD
Australasia’s Passion Provocateur©
Certified Speaking Professional
www.kovess.com

4th Key of 7 Keys to Creating Great Relationships

Key 4: The value of, and need for, vulnerability!

I was taught by a Jesuit Priest a long time ago that when vulnerability meets vulnerability, it creates intimacy.

Intimacy is the precondition and hallmark of a great relationship.

When you are vulnerable, open, honest, courageous, and true to yourself, the other person is more likely to feel your essence and respond similarly. Then intimacy can be built and reinforced, and you will have less need to spend time proving your commitment to the relationship. The other person will become less demanding of your time because the confidence generated by intimacy is a powerful glue that holds the relationship in a safe place.

Why is vulnerability so terrifying and thereby difficult for so many people?

Because, by definition, we are exposing our weaknesses, our soft side, our ‘vulnerable’ spots. And by doing so, we give another person the opportunity to more easily hurt us. The fear of emotional hurt can be a huge block to you having the great relationships you want.

My philosophy is clear: it is better to love and lose, than never to be loved at all. Take the risk of being hurt. You might end up with the love of your life! You might end up with a series of great relationships that make your life the envy of others.

 

Charles B Kovess LL.B. (Hons), LL.M., MAICD, MAITD
Australasia’s Passion Provocateur©
Certified Speaking Professional
www.kovess.com

“3rd Key of 7 Keys to Creating Great Relationships

Key 3: Take the risk and simplify your life.

Far too much ‘stuff’ in our lives does not fulfil us, nurture us, or give us lasting joy. We have spent vast amounts of money on this ‘stuff’. In many cases, we have wasted that money.

When you discover your passion, you become more able to decide what is important to you. You are willing and able to discard unnecessary complexities that you are hoarding, or pursuing, ‘just in case’ they might make you happy.

Taking the risk and simplifying your life will create time for you to devote to a relationship that has been created because you are being true to you. It is a risk because you may discard something that, in future, you discover you actually need.

Take the risk anyway!

Here are two strategies to help you simplify.

Firstly, consciously observe what the media is trying to sell to you, and then consciously test whether you are being seduced to do what, in your heart of hearts, you really do not want to do! Consciousness is the key, and understanding how powerful this resource can be will help you to work on improving your level of consciousness.

Secondly, donate or even throw away goods and things that are not essential for you. We sometimes spend too much time in finding a good home for superfluous ‘stuff’: just dump it, protect your precious time, and the pain of dumping expensive stuff will be a big help in avoiding being seduced to buy more stuff in the future!

 

Charles B Kovess LL.B. (Hons), LL.M., MAICD, MAITD
Australasia’s Passion Provocateur©
Certified Speaking Professional
www.kovess.com

 

2nd Key of 7 Keys to Creating Great Relationships

Key 2: Discover your passion.

I have been researching and speaking on the topic of passion for close to 20 years, and have pursued my passions for over 50 years.

What is ‘passion’? My definition is this: “Passion is a source of unlimited energy from your soul, or spirit, or heart that enables you to produce extraordinary results”.

From my research and my face-to-face workshops with many thousands I have proven that most people in Australia and around the world are not passionate about their work. Yet, I am deeply convinced that everyone has passion. The tragedy is that far too few people have the courage to discover and pursue their passion.

That is why I do the work that I do: I believe the world will become a better place if more of us are willing to discover and to pursue our respective passions, without harming others in the process.

If you are passionate, you immediately raise your personal energy and become far more attractive to other human beings. As the law of gravity states: the inter-attractiveness of a body to another is determined by its mass, and your passion increases your metaphysical mass. You will stand out from the crowd, and others will notice you more readily.

You will thereby attract more people into your life, thus increasing the chances of entering into relationships that become great.

 

Charles B Kovess LL.B. (Hons), LL.M., MAICD, MAITD
Australasia’s Passion Provocateur©
Certified Speaking Professional
www.kovess.com

“1st KEY OF 7 KEYS TO CREATING GREAT RELATIONSHIPS”

The passion, courage and willingness to be true to yourself

Trying to appeal to everybody is an unwinnable game! Yet, to whom will you appeal? This is almost impossible to answer, since every person experiences life uniquely, through the filters of their unique subconscious minds. And it is our subconscious minds that enable us, indeed drive us, to create our beliefs and behaviours.

As Wayne Dyer so aptly said: “You will see it when you believe it”, rather than the usual saying of “You will believe it when you see it”. It is your beliefs that enable you to see.

Therefore, the most effective strategy is to be true to your own beliefs and values, and to be true to how you wish to live your life; those with whom you come into contact can then make their own choices on whether they are attracted to you or not. You become ‘authentic’.

Of course, it takes courage to be authentic. You are likely to upset or alienate others who want you to be something else, to please them, to help them get what they want, regardless of what you want. If you are passionate about having great relationships, your passion becomes a fuel for this courage.

Your authenticity is a powerful magnet. You become a metaphorically bigger person because you are not giving away your power. Of course, this process requires you to be passionate and willing to be true to yourself and this will help you to access the necessary courage.

Therefore, be courageous: this is how humans grow. We cannot grow by staying in our comfort zones. You will be amazed by who you attract into relationship with you.

 

 

Charles B Kovess LL.B. (Hons), LL.M., MAICD, MAITD
Australasia’s Passion Provocateur©
Certified Speaking Professional

www.kovess.com