“1st KEY OF 7 KEYS TO CREATING GREAT RELATIONSHIPS”

The passion, courage and willingness to be true to yourself

Trying to appeal to everybody is an unwinnable game! Yet, to whom will you appeal? This is almost impossible to answer, since every person experiences life uniquely, through the filters of their unique subconscious minds. And it is our subconscious minds that enable us, indeed drive us, to create our beliefs and behaviours.

As Wayne Dyer so aptly said: “You will see it when you believe it”, rather than the usual saying of “You will believe it when you see it”. It is your beliefs that enable you to see.

Therefore, the most effective strategy is to be true to your own beliefs and values, and to be true to how you wish to live your life; those with whom you come into contact can then make their own choices on whether they are attracted to you or not. You become ‘authentic’.

Of course, it takes courage to be authentic. You are likely to upset or alienate others who want you to be something else, to please them, to help them get what they want, regardless of what you want. If you are passionate about having great relationships, your passion becomes a fuel for this courage.

Your authenticity is a powerful magnet. You become a metaphorically bigger person because you are not giving away your power. Of course, this process requires you to be passionate and willing to be true to yourself and this will help you to access the necessary courage.

Therefore, be courageous: this is how humans grow. We cannot grow by staying in our comfort zones. You will be amazed by who you attract into relationship with you.

 

 

Charles B Kovess LL.B. (Hons), LL.M., MAICD, MAITD
Australasia’s Passion Provocateur©
Certified Speaking Professional

www.kovess.com

7 Keys to Creating a Great Relationship When You are Time Poor

If you are successful in your business or profession, you are probably ‘busy’. In fact, you are probably ‘busy and stressed’, or ‘as busy as a one-armed builder in Syria’!

Almost everyone I meet today, when I ask, genuinely, ‘how are you?’, reply ‘busy, too busy’. Lawyers, accountants, plumbers, doctors, young and old, quote this familiar refrain.

So, how do you create that great relationship with all these other pressures demanding your attention? Here are 7 key strategies to provoke your thinking.

 

1. Be willing to be true to yourself.

Stop trying to appeal to everybody: you won’t! Yet, to whom will you appeal? This is almost impossible to answer, particularly since every person experiences life uniquely, through the filters of their subconscious minds. And it is our subconscious minds that enable us, indeed drive us, to create our beliefs and behaviours.

Therefore, the most effective strategy is to be true to your own beliefs and values, and to be true to how you wish to live your life; those with whom you come into contact can then make their own choices on whether they are attracted to you or not. You become ‘authentic’.

2. Discover your passion.

I have been researching and speaking on the topic of passion for almost 20 years, and have pursued my passions for over 50 years. What is ‘passion’? It is a source of unlimited energy from your soul, or spirit, or heart that enables you to produce extraordinary results.

Most people in Australia are not passionate about their work, but everyone has passion. The tragedy is that not many people have the courage to discover and pursue their passion.

If you are passionate, you immediately raise your personal energy and become far more attractive to other human beings. You will stand out from the crowd, and others will notice you more readily.

3. Be willing to simplify your life.

There is too much ‘stuff’ in our lives that does not fulfil us, nurture us, or give us lasting joy.

When you discover your passion, you are more able to decide what is important to you. You can discard unnecessary complexities that you are hoarding, or pursuing, ‘just in case’ they might make you happy. Simplifying your life will create time for you to devote to a relationship that has been created because you are being true to you.

4. Be willing to be vulnerable.

I learnt a long time ago that when vulnerability meets vulnerability, it creates intimacy. Intimacy is the hallmark of a great relationship.

When you are vulnerable, open, honest, courageous, and true to yourself, the other person is more likely to feel your essence and respond similarly. Then intimacy can be created, and you need to spend less time proving your commitment to the relationship: the other person becomes less demanding of your time because the feeling of intimacy is a powerful glue that holds the relationship.

5. Allow others to be true to themselves.

Let go of requiring other people to behave in ways that suit you. If you are going to be true to yourself, then allow others to do the same. That way, you can more quickly decide whether you are truly attracted to another person, or whether it’s their ‘act’ that has drawn you in. You waste less time!

6. Adopt the concept of ‘Parallel Thinking’.

Edward de Bono’s book ‘Parallel Thinking’ beautifully explores our 3000-year tradition of Western philosophical thought that proposes there is ‘truth’ to be discovered in any issue. De Bono, however, says there are often times when competing ideas or thoughts can run ‘in parallel’ because there is no truth: for example, in designing a new outfit or a new building.

By allowing parallel thoughts to run in your relationships, you become much more flexible, leading to less conflict about what is right, wrong, true or untrue, and you become much more lovable and fun to be with.

7. Be willing to learn the principles of time management.

I have worked with many time poor executives over the past 15 years, in both corporate groups and as their executive coach. I am appalled by the quality of time management skills of most of them!

Become a master of your time, and you won’t be so busy! If you invest your time in developing these skills, you will enjoy a remarkable reduction in stress and a remarkable increase in your experience of the many joys of life.

Charles B Kovess LL.B. (Hons), LL.M., MAICD, MAITD
Australasia’s Passion Provocateur©
Certified Speaking Professional
www.kovess.com

“PASSION, ENTREPRENEURS AND ECONOMIC GROWTH”

Your country’s economic growth depends on successful entrepreneurs!

And I believe that entrepreneurs who are passionate will be more likely to succeed than those who are not. Passion is a source of energy and of courage that enables the entrepreneur to take the inevitable blocks to progress and overcome them.

Being an entrepreneur certainly requires courage, particularly if you take the route that I did when I left the legal profession. The courage is required to face the fears of failure and of financial challenges, not to mention the loss of status from those around you who think you are crazy!

Entrepreneurs drive economic growth because they create new products and services, and discover innovative or creative ways to improve productivity and to reduce waste. They are often described as crazy, because they are told what they seek to do is impossible.

The ‘economy’ is actually people being in motion, harnessing their energy to work physically or mentally to add value. The more people that there are out there adding value, the bigger will be the economy.

When you have lots of energy, because you are passionate, you are able to add more value.

I am a member of TiE Melbourne, one of the world’s largest organisations that supports and promotes entrepreneurs. As an organisation, it supports the spiritual value of entrepreneurship, not just the financial value.

Please visit www.melbourne.tie.org to find out more about this global organisation with over 60 chapters all around the world.

 

Charles B Kovess LL.B. (Hons), LL.M., MAICD, MAITD
Australasia’s Passion Provocateur©
Certified Speaking Professional
www.kovess.com

HARNESS YOUR PASSION TO ADD SIGNIFICANT VALUE

I have come to the conclusion that the Universe rewards us in life for the value that we add. The Universe clearly works according to certain scientific and predictable principles, and this is one of those principles.

This does not mean that you cannot receive anything without adding value: that is a different principle at work.

From my earlier blogs, you will have an understanding of ‘passion’, and how it is an unlimited source of energy from your soul, or spirit, or heart, that enables you to produce extraordinary results.

So my question to you today is this: are you harnessing your passion to add significant value? Do you know how much value you are adding? And do you see that when you have unlimited energy, you are able to add more value than when you are low in energy?

I encourage you to start thinking about these questions, and then write down your responses. When you start to understand how this universal principle works, and apply it to yourself, you will begin to behave differently. You might ask for a pay rise, or you might even say to your employer, in your integrity, I am not adding enough value so you should either reduce my pay or increase the ways in which I can add value!

You might even say to your boss, ‘passion is being squashed in this workplace, so that limits the value that team members can add’.

Let me share three specific simple examples of adding value, so you gain a deeper understanding of this key issue:

  1. A florist who sells you flowers for a funeral for $50 is adding value to your life because she is satisfying your (non-material) desire to express your sympathy to someone who matters to you. If that desire is strong, it is clearly worth more than $50, and the florist has added value.
  2. A receptionist at a business who earns $800 per week may or may not add value. What problems does he or she solve while acting as a receptionist?
  3. As a professional speaker, when I earn $5,000 for a speech, if just one member of an audience who is a salesperson changes his or her behaviour to be more passionate and more effective, the value generated for the company who paid me could easily be more than $50,000 every year thereafter!

©Charles Kovess
Kovess International
24 October 2012

Living a passionate life

Passionate individuals achieve. Passionate individuals perform. Passionate individuals inspire. Imagine tapping into extraordinary talents each working day. Imagine the growth, the rewards and the results.

Sadly, few people are passionate about their work. Yet, if business is to thrive in these challenging times, leaders must create an “extra-ordinary” level of commitment from their people. A commitment based not only on the cerebral – but one that also involves the heart and soul – passion.

We are now in what I call ‘The Passion Age’. This new era demands the mastery of the difficult part of business – people. Physical resources are the easy part. That is why so few organisations successfully access the knowledge and wisdom and passion of their people: it’s just too hard.

Passionate performers make no distinction between labour and leisure, education and recreation. They simply pursue their vision with a commitment and energy sustained by their passion.

Effective leaders understand the principles of motivation, that’s a given, but motivation and passion are not quite the same. One is a reactive process, the other a proactive one. Managers, coaches or corporate mentors all motivate, but this is achieved externally. One can encourage a person to be motivated, one can even teach them how to be motivated, but passion comes from the soul, from the heart.

Leaders who want to access the passion and energy of their people must first understand the major drivers of human behaviour, the pain-pleasure equation. It’s simple: how much pain is an individual willing to accept for a future pleasure?

Consider sportspeople and musicians: they are willing to undertake years of what is at times painful training because of the promise of pleasure that inspires them. Here are some ways to access that level of passion for your organisation:

  1. What benefits will employees derive from contributing their passion and knowledge to the business?
  2. What pain or disadvantage will employees reduce in their lives?
  3. What is the present pain that blocks employees from contributing?
  4. Can the employees clearly see the pleasure they will gain from contributing their passion and facing, or experiencing, the pain of doing so?
  5. Is the pain of contributing passion greater than the pain of being “safe” in a low performance environment?

The successful leaders of tomorrow will be those with a strong empathy-based style, who create a passionate, purpose-driven, working environment.