4th Key of 7 Keys to Creating Great Relationships

Key 4: The value of, and need for, vulnerability!

I was taught by a Jesuit Priest a long time ago that when vulnerability meets vulnerability, it creates intimacy.

Intimacy is the precondition and hallmark of a great relationship.

When you are vulnerable, open, honest, courageous, and true to yourself, the other person is more likely to feel your essence and respond similarly. Then intimacy can be built and reinforced, and you will have less need to spend time proving your commitment to the relationship. The other person will become less demanding of your time because the confidence generated by intimacy is a powerful glue that holds the relationship in a safe place.

Why is vulnerability so terrifying and thereby difficult for so many people?

Because, by definition, we are exposing our weaknesses, our soft side, our ‘vulnerable’ spots. And by doing so, we give another person the opportunity to more easily hurt us. The fear of emotional hurt can be a huge block to you having the great relationships you want.

My philosophy is clear: it is better to love and lose, than never to be loved at all. Take the risk of being hurt. You might end up with the love of your life! You might end up with a series of great relationships that make your life the envy of others.


Charles B Kovess LL.B. (Hons), LL.M., MAICD, MAITD
Australasia’s Passion Provocateur©
Certified Speaking Professional